Hell has no fury...

I'm not really a jealous person, although I can be quite envious... this is more about my irrationality than any one woman... although, if the cap fits... :)


There's a man I know, infact quite well
Who really is quite lush
He's funny sweet and all those things
But me? I love his tush

He isn't mine, he's someone elses
The bloody jammy bitch
So time to get the spell book out
And be a feckin witch

I'm make all of her hair turn green
And warts grow on her nose
I'll make her smell of week old fish
Instead of like a rose

I'll make all of her teeth fall out
and turn her brain to mush
I'll magic her to Beachy Head
And give the girl a push

She'll eat until she's lardy
With wobbles on her tum
And cellulite just everywhere
Especially on her bum

I'll give her halitosis
and farts to kill a cat
I'll make her talk like chubby brown
You know just where I'm at

I'll voodoo her with dollies
Made out of smelly soap
Stick pins in all the places
Where he might have a poke

I'm really not so bad you know
and often good at times
But all is fair in love and war
Or somesuch on those lines

So will he want me back again?
At least that's what I hope
So witching is the way for me
Now pass that bar of soap